May 11, 2018

Sara Haines talks with mom who went viral with video on realities of motherhood

ABC (NEW YORK) -- A mom whose video on the less glamorous realities of motherhood has been viewed nearly five million times said social media contributes to an unrealistic view that other families are perfect. Sarah Van Sickle told “The View” co-host Sara Haines that she recorded the now-viral video afer several days of dealing with her son’s “terrible tantrums” while also juggling her job as a trainer and attending court sessions to get child support from her son’s biological father. “I was already … just tired; he hadn’t been sleeping at night,” Van Sickle said of her son, Koa. The family lives in Knoxville, Tennessee. “I had to put him in the car because I had to go to work … It probably took me about three minutes just to get him down into the car seat. He was flailing himself everywhere — he was just not my kid.” Van Sickle said “something just flipped in me, where I was like ‘I need the noise to stop!' That’s all I wanted… I didn’t care [how] — I was screaming at him at the top of my lungs … I mean like ... sounding like a lunatic. But I just, I felt like I lost it.” “No matter how prepared you are, you’re not ready for those moments,” Van Sickle said. “There’s such a different level of shame and guilt and embarrassment attached to not being able to control your kid.” That embarrassment is magnified by the dearth of public discussion about the more trying parts of parenthood, she said. On social media, parents see only “highlight reels, and we kind of compare ourselves even if we’re not meaning to,” she said. “You see all these images of perfection there and you’re losing your mind … we just feel like failures.” In her video, Van Sickle tearfully speaks to the camera as Koa screams from the car's backseat. Moms like her are "doing the best we can," she says. "This is me just trying to be real, showing what mom life can be like because it's hard ... Yes, we put up cute pictures of our kids — but this, THIS, is real life!" Sara Haines shared how much she could relate to the panic of trying to calm a child in the throes of a tantrum, “I’m beating myself up for not being able to console my child," Haines said. "I can’t think of what to try next, I start to get impatient and then I feel guilty I’m impatient and that my poor child is stuck with me. It’s a never-ending cycle of not being able to solve a problem, topped with guilt — you beat yourself up!” Van Sickle said she received a "sea of positive comments" in response to her video. "Having the solidarity of these amazing, strong, encouraging women who do not know me ... just loving on me and encouraging me … That’s been awesome." “It was really nice to know I’m not alone… and I’m not crazy and I’m not a terrible mom,” she said. Sharing her unfiltered story with the world on social media also brought some negative responses, she said. "There were some comments that were just outrageous ... and regardless of the sea of positive comments, I’d look at the negative ones and be like, 'I’m a bad mom.'” They ranged from criticizing how she was dealing with the tantrum to saying Koa should be given up for adoption, Van Sickle said. She added that “some comments that were really well meaning ... made me an absolute wreck,” saying some some viewers posted diagnoses of her son, including developmental disorders and even cancer. “I panicked and I got an appointment with my doctor immediately,” Van Sickle said. “He thoroughly evaluated him and... at the end … just a hot-headed little boy who’s teething." Overall, the experience of making the video and the big response helped Van Sickle come to a realization, she said. “I do tend to be so independent … I keep trudging, keep putting my head down and go to work, take care of my kid, 24/7,” she said. “I just really had a wake-up call that I need to have some self care and that I need to lean on people some more.” Haines shared a very similar experience she had bringing her son Alec to “The View” before he started walking — “I was so excited! … I thought because it was a baby, [the comments] would all be positive!” Haines also addressed the tendency by some people to post judgmental comments against mothers. “People everywhere, but specifically women and moms, can do better,” Haines said. “If you don’t have something nice to say in the comments, don’t take the time to write anything … If we’re not cheering each other on, we should just … take a rest from the keyboard.” Haines said Van Sickle's video helped her: “Your admission brought me to tears, because you were speaking my inner monologue, that I hear sadly too often. It empowered me, it made me feel stronger and most importantly, it let me know I’m not alone.” Copyright © 2018, ABC Radio. All rights reserved.
May 11, 2018

Doorman vows to fight nephew in court over $4.2 million left to him in late man’s handwritten will

iStock/Thinkstock(NEW YORK) -- A Manhattan doorman has vowed to continue fighting in court over a dead tenant's will that reportedly left him millions. Stephen Sullivan Evans, 80, died in September, never having married or had children, and his handwritten will left his $4.2 million apartment to the longtime doorman at his building, ABC-owned station WABC reported. An additional estimated $3.3 million in ExxonMobil stock was left to other members of staff at 430 East 56th Street, Evans' longtime residence, according to WABC. The New York Post reported that other cash in bank accounts was also left to the co-op's staff. "I think being that he appreciated all the years we served him, especially myself, I think he really appreciated it," doorman Eddie Hoti told WABC. "He showed his real, true heart by saying: these are the guys that took care of me." The Post reports that Evans gave the handwritten will to his building's superintendent, Nick Pocesta, just months before he died in September 2017. Hoti said he has no doubt its instructions are what Stephen Evans wanted. "He loved me. He told me, straight up, 11 years ago, 'Eddie I’ve made a will and I’ve left you the apartment,'" Hoti, who is also referred to as Ekrem, told The Post. But Evans' nephew, Matthew, is now challenging the will in court, WABC reported. The problems lie with the will itself, which was not dated or notarized. The purported will appears to be written on a sheet of notebook paper, according to a photo obtained by WABC. Hoti said that Matthew Evans was not a regular presence in his deceased uncle's life. "I've been here 28 years, he [Matthew Evans] came once on a Saturday," Hoti said to WABC. "One of the staff guys was here. This was about four years ago, and he refused him." Matthew Evans, whose now-deceased father was Stephen Evans' brother, was his only living blood relative, The Post reports, and a judge agreed with the nephew's attorney that the handwritten will does not hold up in court. However, the judge agreed to allow both parties to search Stephen Evans' studio apartment and any safe deposit boxes for a legitimate will, The Post reported. Michael Evans has maintained he has the right to handle his uncle's estate, the New York Daily News reported. Michael Evans' mother, Barbara, agreed. "That letter shouldn't be valid at all," she told the paper. "It wasn't notarized — I don't understand how they can even make the claim in the court." Hoti told WABC that he's going to continue to pursue the case in court in an effort to uphold what he says were Stephen Evans' wishes. Another tenant in the building agreed, according to WABC. "I am a million percent sure that that is what he wanted," tenant Fay Lee told WABC. "He wanted whatever he had to go to the people he cared most about, and those are the people who cared most about him." Copyright © 2018, ABC Radio. All rights reserved.
May 11, 2018

Police drag 65-year-old woman from car at traffic stop: Video

iStock/Thinkstock(ATLANTA) -- A police department in Georgia has opened an internal investigation into why an elderly female driver was dragged out of her vehicle at a traffic stop, according to a Facebook post by Alpharetta police. "I just panicked. I felt like my heart exploded," said Rose Campbell, 65, in an interview with ABC's Atlanta affiliate WSB. "I didn't expect that in America. I didn't expect that in Atlanta. I didn't expect that especially in Alpharetta." The Alpharetta Police Department posted a video that included a statement from Public Safety Chief John Robison and video from the squad car video showing the incident, which took place May 4. "We strive to be a transparent department. If we are going to be 100 percent transparent, that means that we also must be willing to share with you any major concerns that arise regarding employee performance and behavior," Robison said in the video. "There are aspects about this video that simply do not represent our organization." Video shows Campbell getting pulled over and ticketed for drifting into another lane, according to WSB. After Campbell refused to sign the ticket, which is against the law in Georgia, the officer informed her that she was under arrest. The situation escalated when backup arrived on scene. One of the backup officers can be heard screaming, "You're not in charge, shut up and get the f--- out of the car!" before aggressively yanking the elderly woman's arm and pulling her hands behind her back. At this point there are at least five officers on the scene and Campbell is crying for help, asking to see a supervisor. Campbell told WSB that she doesnt think the officer who dragged her out should be fired, but that she wants better training for officers. She said she hasn't yet decided if she will take legal action. The officer involved in the incident has been identified as James Legg and he has since submitted his resignation to the City of Alpharetta, the city said in a statement. "That resignation, however, does not alleviate our responsibility to Mrs. Campbell and the community for a complete and thorough investigation of this incident," the statement read. "We want to assure everyone that our internal affairs investigation will continue and that appropriate actions, based on all of the facts, will be taken by the City." In his letter, Legg defended his actions. "The officers were ... not able to complete the arrest of [Campbell] as she was still in the vehicle and holding on to the seat belt. I did what was necessary to complete the arrest by raising my voice and using verbal commands using heavy control talk with profanity. It worked instantly and she exited the vehicle immediately!" he wrote. "When the other officers did not immediately restrain and handcuff her, I then freed her from her grasp on the seat belt and she was escorted to the police vehicle. All force ceased and the arrest was not over. "I judged her actions to be passive resistance and used very limited force to end a multiple minute encounter with the suspected," he added. Separate to its own investigation, the city has requested that the Georgia Bureau of Investigation conduct its own probe. "While our own investigation will be thorough, we understand that having the matter also investigated by an outside agency will provide the public additional confidence that the incident has been thoroughly and appropriately addressed," the statement continued. Copyright © 2018, ABC Radio. All rights reserved.
May 11, 2018

Dogs assemble for an epic ‘selfie’ at daycare

iStock/Thinkstock(CINCINNATI) -- A group of dogs had an unprompted photo call that resulted in an epic dog “selfie.” The dogs were playing in an outdoor area at a dog daycare and boarding studio in Cincinnati, Ohio when they gathered near a gate. One of their caretakers snapped photos of the moment and the rest is “doggone” history. To view the photos, click here. Copyright © 2018, ABC Radio. All rights reserved.